Friday, January 28, 2011

Unfathomable Love!

'Tere Ishq ki Inteha Chahta hun.....Meri Sadgi Dekh Kia Chahta hun'

Translation: 'I want to grasp the zenith of your love.....Look at my simplicity, i desire something unachievable'..By Allama Iqbal


Pink dress, red shoes, mascara on eyelashes and slick pouch in hand….. A wallet full of money, Brand new Rado Swiss watch, Levi’s T-shirt and a brand new shining car….. A perfect date and a perfect match for everyone!

People these days have an image of a perfect couple and perfect love which either exists or doesn’t.

But what we tend to ignore is that love is an emotion so gigantic and unfathomable that it is almost beyond your reach to define it in a few sentences or even thousands of pages.

As we refer to the ‘Metaphorical Love’ i.e. the love for the creation of God we tend to disregard the fact that there can be no perfect love. A walk on the beach or a candle light dinner neither defines love nor expresses it, as it could be mere attraction or profound affection.

We nowadays tend to ignore the deepness of true love which can be intense for us to handle. On one hand, the intensity of true love can take the form of passion and rule the world…on the other it can burn you if you deny it!

‘Ishq’ in Urdu, ‘Eshq’ in Persian and Unfathomable Love in English refers to a situation when love takes its root in the heart of a lover; everything other than God is effaced. This ‘Ishq’ is not just for a person or a commodity …it can be a feeling or the urge to do what you want to….it can be the emotion which provokes you to do what you yearn for!

We see people truly madly deeply in love for each other these days; from young teens to middle aged matures….the slogan of ‘love’ is on everyone’s tongue. But the claim this ‘love’ makes embarrasses the ‘Ishq’ which is filled with passion, obsession and compassion.

Love is not the attraction you feel for another one …it’s not about just the gender, person, beauty or the heartbeat… rather it’s the agonizing craving to just think of the one you love…..it’s the passion to do what you love…..it’s the fervor to either make or break the system for your beloved’s desire…..it’s the feeling of ecstasy that the much-loved exists!

When the love reaches the zenith, the existence of the world doesn’t matter. Let the ‘Love’ be; your passion to be something or the craving to adore someone… each time when veracious love strikes…the person feels the seventh heaven!

Once you’re completely drowned in ‘Ishq’ the distinction for the right or wrong might get obscured…but this ‘Love’ always does the wrong by hurting one’s self. The guilt might diminish if your precious doesn’t grasp the fervor of your love…..the denial of your beloved can be the demise of your existence……

Though many claimants of ‘Love’ exist today and the ones who taste ‘ecstasy’ are very few….but the fewer ones lives forever!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Revulsion or Frustration?

"Acquire inner peace and a multitude will find their salvation near you."
Catherine de Hueck Doherty

In a world of filth and dirt, we all live like a dog…clean the small space around our living area and leave the world around us as if it doesn’t exist. Loyal to only ourselves, all we care about is the life within our own shells.

This loyalty may make us harmful to others; the lust to be the best for ourselves may provoke us to devastate their strengths.

Though we don’t care for others, but we might loathe them for who they are… we despise them for their mere existence. This revulsion gives us the right to question the way they live and openly critique their lifestyle……or the right to bark at whoever we want to!

Their immoral behavior and unethical conduct makes us feel like angels…angels sent to pick and rectify the restless and depraved souls around us.

Drowned in the spirit of revolution, we transform our frustration into anger and pour this fury in their lives. What we don't realize is that our anger itself is the parasite feeding on our souls !

Instead of spreading peace and serenity, we end up creating a world with hatred and malevolence.

We cry out loud that we need peace, harmony and tranquility…but in fact we are the ones who deep down inside crave for discordance.

The clatter around us distracts the attention from our dissatisfied soul. All of us, eternally unhappy and unfulfilled, look for ways to blame someone for this discontent.

We moan over the world’s current condition…but we tend to disregard the part played by our fury in adding fuel to this fire of detestation, surrounding our world.

To appease the pain from outer world, we ought to abate the inner ferocity which we all go through.

The need of the hour is to clear our hearts and become satisfied with what we are. Looking at the unachieved will make things worse...so focus on the accomplished goals and dismiss the thoughts of failure and insecurity. As this change of focus will make you efficient enough to face the challenges with a rejuvenated spirit, while otherwise the baggage of disappointment will never let you grow and explore your own capabilities.

Once there is peace in our minds, the world will appear a little more radiant than before.

Hence,we won’t be able to pacify the world, until we overcome the inner racket of frustration and vengeance. Abandon the spirit of revenge or it would spread…spread like a fungus from your soul to the world around you.

Satisfaction....an improbable term will become probable if there is contentment within our spirit.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I Wished!

With every minute passing, with each day crawling and with each year slipping away from my life…the wish to take control amplifies.
Each moment just enhances the anger, aggression and wrath burning within me. It’s very easy to dictate one to take control of his resentment and suppress it somewhere deep. But, when you see the
one you love in pain, this resentment can take form of a fire which burns your capability to think and process.
Each moment of excruciation for your loved one becomes a moment of heart-ache for you...seeing the one who matters the most in a vulnerable state, you bleed somewhere inside.
It seems as if the fate line from my hand has faded away and now all I’m left with is a bundle of wishes. Disgruntled and restless, I worked so hard throughout my life to earn something. And now, when those moments appear so close to me, I see her dying inside every single day.
Life always appealed to me and I took it as a challenge to prove my worth. But now, either the challenge has lost its meaning or my passion has vanished. Those desires and yearnings, all appear lame and worthless when I see her crying.
I want to do all for her and I want it now, when she needs me the most.
What’s the point of gaining all that I ever yearned for…when she doesn't need me?
Will those achievements matter then?
No, rather they will lead me to a more miserable condition than before.
For me, life is her happiness…and now I see her crying everyday… this helplessness is agonizing!
Oh my Lord, either give me the strength to diminish her mourning or take this life away from me, since it’s nothing more than an unspoken slow Death I’m going through....

Friday, December 31, 2010

A New Year's Eve!

5...4...3...2….1! Its new year, 2011 is here finally!

2011, with new hopes for some and resolutions for others.

Life lightens up for some or shines for others…but have you ever thought that for some it’s just another night which gets darker and gloomier with every passing second. For some its sheer obscurity with a tinge of salt from the tears they cry…the tears for the regrets they have earned, the tears which they cry with a hope to fade away the memories of 2010!

For some the beginning of a New Year is overshadowed by the ‘ending of 2010’. When others dance to their tunes and dream for the future, others just live in their past and sacrifice their future for the sake of repentance.

31st december 12:00 am, the moment when the whole world is in a state of ecstasy!

It’s difficult for you to imagine this moment as a flash of sadness with crippled emotions of anger, fury and melancholy for someone out there. Someone who maybe seems fine with a perfect smile to entertain the acquaintances…someone who hides her mourning just the way ‘the happy world’ would want it.

But, just wish that the new year brings that someone a chance to explore something soothing enough to appease the ulcers on her soul…and give the fortune to find someone who could gauge not only the apparent comfort rather the internal anguish which gets deeper and darker with every moment that passes by!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Baggage!

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night by hearing what you just said out loud ‘unknowingly’ while you were asleep….

No it doesn’t imply that you are a ghost or you are a maniac! Then what is it? Is it the shrillness of your voice or the amplitude of its frequency? Is it the doors stumbling behind your back or the windows just shattered? ……Its none of those too..

It’s more the web of thoughts in your brain which crunches your power to relax, your mind is grumbling and regurgitating the events that just passed by.

People call me self obsessed, self conceited or sometimes psychic but I’m hundred percent sure that we all are that at one place or point in our life.

Everything in my life seems to be jumbled up in a big baggage lying at the corner of my mind. This baggage as heavy as the white whale in a small canal can move the world around you with a mere movement. It leaves no opportunity to exploit your thoughts and hinder your every step. The moment you are about to have fun or make a decision, the worst memory of your life will come up and destroy it all!

Making new friends? And the baggage would show you your worst friendship disasters…spending time with friends? What about the parents you left at home?, the baggage strikes again!...the moment you realize that yes you are meant to have fun is the moment reality shows you the biggest mistakes you have ever made.

People say ‘Learn from your mistakes’ but all that it gives me is; regret, sorrow, embarrassment and a refreshed feeling of humiliation. I thought of myself as a highly practical, emotionless rather ruthless, selfish, fun loving and manipulative modern woman. A woman of substance and pure diligence! But I ended up realizing that I’m just the opposite. Exact opposite, I get impractical when it comes to my mom, I get literally mindless when I decide the payoffs and yes I cry too!..i cry on tiny things like falling on the ground and I value little moments like my mom’s message or my sister’s chocolate as if I’m like just another emotional fool. And the word fun doesn’t even exist in my dictionary since I’m never satisfied with the present condition and I always think and repent for what I could have done.

Sometimes my mind get so pumped that I lose the capacity to control the words popping out of my mouth. I speak things which are irrelevant or rude or ambiguous..but it seems like my mind actually exploded those words out! Asleep or awake, this trauma never ends and I speak whatever comes to my mouth.

Control it or hide it, the baggage always makes its way through to express, annoy and exploit!No it doesn’t imply that you are a ghost or you are a maniac! Then what is it? Is it the shrillness of your voice or the amplitude of its frequency? Is it the doors stumbling behind your back or the windows just shattered? ……Its none of those too..

It’s more the web of thoughts in your brain which crunches your power to relax, your mind is grumbling and regurgitating the events that just passed by.

People call me self obsessed, self conceited or sometimes psychic but I’m hundred percent sure that we all are that at one place or point in our life.

Everything in my life seems to be jumbled up in a big baggage lying at the corner of my mind. This baggage as heavy as the white whale in a small canal can move the world around you with a mere movement. It leaves no opportunity to exploit your thoughts and hinder your every step. The moment you are about to have fun or make a decision, the worst memory of your life will come up and destroy it all!

Making new friends? And the baggage would show you your worst friendship disasters…spending time with friends? What about the parents you left at home?, the baggage strikes again!...the moment you realize that yes you are meant to have fun is the moment reality shows you the biggest mistakes you have ever made.

People say ‘Learn from your mistakes’ but all that it gives me is; regret, sorrow, embarrassment and a refreshed feeling of humiliation.

I thought of myself as a highly practical, emotionless rather ruthless, selfish, fun loving and manipulative modern woman. A woman of substance and pure diligence! But I ended up realizing that I’m just the opposite. Exact opposite, I get impractical when it comes to my mom, I get literally mindless when I decide the payoffs and yes I cry too!..i cry on tiny things like falling on the ground and I value little moments like my mom’s message or my sister’s chocolate as if I’m like just another emotional fool. And the word fun doesn't even exist in my dictionary since I’m never satisfied with the present condition and I always think and repent for what I could have done.

Sometimes my mind get so pumped that I lose the capacity to control the words popping out of my mouth. I speak things which are irrelevant or rude or ambiguous..but it seems like my mind actually exploded those words out! Asleep or awake, this trauma never ends and I speak whatever comes to my mouth.

Control it or hide it, the baggage always paves its way through to express, annoy and exploit!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Intensity of Passion can exterminate your Soul...

Let not the coldness, sharpness or stiffness of a person fool you…every person, either as sharp as a brutal knife or as fragile as block of sand, has an inspirational figure in his or her life. This figure not only inspires him to breathe and live rather it can explain the meaning of life to him without saying a word. Mere presence of this figure leads to a surge of motivation, an electrical surge to stand up for whatever his motives are.

Some might assess this as a figure who is your partner in life but I would strongly negate this fact. It could be anyone, anyone from your mother to your neighbor, from your wife to your paper boy…anyone who inspires you to live and feel the soul within you!

But when the inspiration ignores your existence or doesn’t acknowledge your feelings…. it hurts. Have you ever imagined a scenario where this enlightening being not only ignores rather brutally negates your emotions?

You’re so helpless when your admiration is perceived as a source of pain & your expressions considered as cold as the frozen dead body kept in the refrigerator since its presence can terrify the near ones!!!

In the beginning you try and try harder to rectify and appease the situation but alas! Every attempt you make renders another mistake which is bigger….. Till, a time comes when all your efforts and hopes are crushed like rusty leaves crushed by ruthless pedestrians!

Why people see the expressions on your face or take your coldness as hatred? Why the world belittles the meanings behind small gestures?

They all can see the unemotional nature of a person but can’t understand the intensity of passion underneath that! Some people born with the inability to express are also born with the ability to love someone to the extreme… but why they exaggerate the former and ignore the latter!

One can survive if it’s the world who misinterprets your coldness as hatred….but the soul fades away if it’s the one who inspires you!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

United We Stand..Divided We Fall!


All the news channels and media sources are bombarding the audience with the spot-fixing scandal and involvement of Pakistani cricket stars in it. We see people from within and across the borders loathing and detesting this act of Pakistani cricketers, without any confirmation of the evidences.

Pakistani cricket team was the only custodian of a positive image of Pakistan and Pakistanis in the international scenario. People and even other cricket stars admired our talented fast bowlers and inspirational boom boom sixers. We as a team maintained a certain level and despite of our ‘some unexpected performances’, our stars and team was always considered a top class team which had the capacity to beat the world’s top class team with its young lads. But this spot fixing scandal has not only ruined the international image of Pakistan but has also crushed the dim rays of hope of all Pakistanis.

Spot-betting and match fixing scandals are not new to the world, every team except a few gifted ones has tasted this humiliation. But nevertheless, the humiliation has been escalated to sheer degradation for the Pakistani team! Why is this so? Why this scandal has which is still unproved, open to criticism by all?

I reckon this gibberish criticism and hatred speeches by people across the borders are a result of our inner weakness. Our core is not strong enough to support their players in such issues. Whenever such an issue has been raised the respective country’s cricket board and media has taken measures to suppress the matter with as minimum allegations as possible.

Let’s take an example of India, a country known for its gambling and spot-betting industry. An estimate shows that India generates revenue of US$ 1 billion from big matches. In 2008, former Indian federation President Inderjit Singh Bindra himself admitted that the budding gambling and match fixing problems in India can only be solved by legalizing gambling.

Keeping these facts in mind, let’s review the consequences when Indian cricketers faced the allegations of match-fixing. Ajay Jadeja and Mohd. Azharuddin were not only accused of match fixing but evidence of call records and illegal transactions left nothing to prove their innocence. Ajay & Azharuddin had contacts with a number of bookies e.g. Uttam Chand, Shubhan Mehta who offered them handsome money. Despite of all these facts, ICC was unable to take any legal action against these Indian cricketers and wasn’t able to arrest or perform legal charges in court. This wasn’t because ICC had a personal preference for these cricketers rath

er the Indian cricket board was strong enough to take a stand and solved the matter with care. They neither created mellow dramatic documentaries loathing their own cricketers nor did they allow any other country to barge in their matter. Minimizing the charges, both cricketers were separated with respect and hence we see Ajay Jadeja as a cricket expert of NDTV and coaching domestic cricket teams for tournaments.

Now, coming to the case of Pakistan, let’s review the stance taken by PCB, our media and the government to protect our image. Pakistani cricketers when accused and blamed to be a part of this scandal tried to seek refuge and help from their Government and PCB. But as expected, Pakistan cricket board has maintained minimal involvement in this issue. Strict orders were issued to not take action against these players until any evidence is recorded. Instead of playing an active role in analyzing the validity of evidences, PCB has taken aside once again losing its right to Scotland investigation team like Muhatrma’s Benazir’s murder. PCB could have attained the rights like Indian cricket board to solve and resolve the matter under its jurisdiction but it’s like PCB is rather the Pakistan board of any other sport than Cricket!

Let’s take a look at the role of media in this crisis. Pakistani media has maintained its stance to criticize its own players as if it gives them self satisfaction. Every government official, non-official, cricketer or ex-cricketer has taken the opportunity to come and criticize their players on camera. Instead of hoping for their clearance, every political animal, sports personality or news anchor seems to be emphasizing the ‘Anti-Patriotic’ act of these players. But what they don’t realize is that humiliating their national representatives on international media is itself an ‘Anti-Patriotic Act’.

On the top of it, our popular drama queen Veena Malik has taken the opportunity to take out grudges against Mohd. Asif by providing proofs of match fixing against him. In fact, she has gone aboard to give special interviews to Indian news channels for this purpose. As a NDTV reporter states “Then she tried to tell me that all matches are fixed. I don't know why she approached me. That's the question because I never called her," Dixit said. She claims that she was managing six to seven Pakistani cricketers and knew about their plans. But in this matter she forgets that she is accepting her involvement in this spot-fixing scandal herself!

No wonder these acts of indecency of our media and silence of PCB has opened gates of unwanted criticism for Pakistan by the world. Kapil Dev, an ex-Indian cricketer comments that people who can forge their country are not trustworthy at all. The British press releases news clipping about Pakistani cricketers saying “They are the poor relations of the (cricket) world when it comes to getting paid and so the temptation is there to supplement earnings. The fact the Pakistan players have been prevented from taking part in the lucrative IPL because of the poor relations between Pakistan and India doesn't assist in that matter."

Once let open, the international media doesn’t get satisfied by only criticizing the Pakistani World cup champs. In fact they want to whither their existence in the sports arena. Former ICC chief Malcolm Speed has claimed to ban Pakistani team’s existence in the cricket scenario. Former England captain Michael Vaughan said that he doesn’t see Pakistani team getting out of this one!...the list of such press releases and shameful comments can go on.

But the main point to reiterate here is that the branches carry fruits only if the root can bear the weight. Yes, the world doesn’t dare to mess with those who are strengthened from within. These scandals aren’t new, from Australia to India; almost every country’s team has been accused and alleged of such crimes. But none have been humiliated and planned to ‘banned’ from the cricket’s world. This is because their cricket boards took a stance to solve their matter within the system, their media supported their innocence and their politicians didn’t loathe their ‘anti-patriotic spirits’. I think once our country learns to take stand for its own people, no one in the world can harm us with their desperate attempts to disparage us as a nation!

 
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