Intensity of Passion can exterminate your Soul...

Let not the coldness, sharpness or stiffness of a person fool you…every person, either as sharp as a brutal knife or as fragile as block of sand, has an inspirational figure in his or her life. This figure not only inspires him to breathe and live rather it can explain the meaning of life to him without saying a word. Mere presence of this figure leads to a surge of motivation, an electrical surge to stand up for whatever his motives are.

Some might assess this as a figure who is your partner in life but I would strongly negate this fact. It could be anyone, anyone from your mother to your neighbor, from your wife to your paper boy…anyone who inspires you to live and feel the soul within you!

But when the inspiration ignores your existence or doesn’t acknowledge your feelings…. it hurts. Have you ever imagined a scenario where this enlightening being not only ignores rather brutally negates your emotions?

You’re so helpless when your admiration is perceived as a source of pain & your expressions considered as cold as the frozen dead body kept in the refrigerator since its presence can terrify the near ones!!!

In the beginning you try and try harder to rectify and appease the situation but alas! Every attempt you make renders another mistake which is bigger….. Till, a time comes when all your efforts and hopes are crushed like rusty leaves crushed by ruthless pedestrians!

Why people see the expressions on your face or take your coldness as hatred? Why the world belittles the meanings behind small gestures?

They all can see the unemotional nature of a person but can’t understand the intensity of passion underneath that! Some people born with the inability to express are also born with the ability to love someone to the extreme… but why they exaggerate the former and ignore the latter!

One can survive if it’s the world who misinterprets your coldness as hatred….but the soul fades away if it’s the one who inspires you!

United We Stand..Divided We Fall!

All the news channels and media sources are bombarding the audience with the spot-fixing scandal and involvement of Pakistani cricket stars in it. We see people from within and across the borders loathing and detesting this act of Pakistani cricketers, without any confirmation of the evidences.

Pakistani cricket team was the only custodian of a positive image of Pakistan and Pakistanis in the international scenario. People and even other cricket stars admired our talented fast bowlers and inspirational boom boom sixers. We as a team maintained a certain level and despite of our ‘some unexpected performances’, our stars and team was always considered a top class team which had the capacity to beat the world’s top class team with its young lads. But this spot fixing scandal has not only ruined the international image of Pakistan but has also crushed the dim rays of hope of all Pakistanis.

Spot-betting and match fixing scandals are not new to the world, every team except a few gifted ones has tasted this humiliation. But nevertheless, the humiliation has been escalated to sheer degradation for the Pakistani team! Why is this so? Why this scandal has which is still unproved, open to criticism by all?

I reckon this gibberish criticism and hatred speeches by people across the borders are a result of our inner weakness. Our core is not strong enough to support their players in such issues. Whenever such an issue has been raised the respective country’s cricket board and media has taken measures to suppress the matter with as minimum allegations as possible.

Let’s take an example of India, a country known for its gambling and spot-betting industry. An estimate shows that India generates revenue of US$ 1 billion from big matches. In 2008, former Indian federation President Inderjit Singh Bindra himself admitted that the budding gambling and match fixing problems in India can only be solved by legalizing gambling.

Keeping these facts in mind, let’s review the consequences when Indian cricketers faced the allegations of match-fixing. Ajay Jadeja and Mohd. Azharuddin were not only accused of match fixing but evidence of call records and illegal transactions left nothing to prove their innocence. Ajay & Azharuddin had contacts with a number of bookies e.g. Uttam Chand, Shubhan Mehta who offered them handsome money. Despite of all these facts, ICC was unable to take any legal action against these Indian cricketers and wasn’t able to arrest or perform legal charges in court. This wasn’t because ICC had a personal preference for these cricketers rath

er the Indian cricket board was strong enough to take a stand and solved the matter with care. They neither created mellow dramatic documentaries loathing their own cricketers nor did they allow any other country to barge in their matter. Minimizing the charges, both cricketers were separated with respect and hence we see Ajay Jadeja as a cricket expert of NDTV and coaching domestic cricket teams for tournaments.

Now, coming to the case of Pakistan, let’s review the stance taken by PCB, our media and the government to protect our image. Pakistani cricketers when accused and blamed to be a part of this scandal tried to seek refuge and help from their Government and PCB. But as expected, Pakistan cricket board has maintained minimal involvement in this issue. Strict orders were issued to not take action against these players until any evidence is recorded. Instead of playing an active role in analyzing the validity of evidences, PCB has taken aside once again losing its right to Scotland investigation team like Muhatrma’s Benazir’s murder. PCB could have attained the rights like Indian cricket board to solve and resolve the matter under its jurisdiction but it’s like PCB is rather the Pakistan board of any other sport than Cricket!

Let’s take a look at the role of media in this crisis. Pakistani media has maintained its stance to criticize its own players as if it gives them self satisfaction. Every government official, non-official, cricketer or ex-cricketer has taken the opportunity to come and criticize their players on camera. Instead of hoping for their clearance, every political animal, sports personality or news anchor seems to be emphasizing the ‘Anti-Patriotic’ act of these players. But what they don’t realize is that humiliating their national representatives on international media is itself an ‘Anti-Patriotic Act’.

On the top of it, our popular drama queen Veena Malik has taken the opportunity to take out grudges against Mohd. Asif by providing proofs of match fixing against him. In fact, she has gone aboard to give special interviews to Indian news channels for this purpose. As a NDTV reporter states “Then she tried to tell me that all matches are fixed. I don't know why she approached me. That's the question because I never called her," Dixit said. She claims that she was managing six to seven Pakistani cricketers and knew about their plans. But in this matter she forgets that she is accepting her involvement in this spot-fixing scandal herself!

No wonder these acts of indecency of our media and silence of PCB has opened gates of unwanted criticism for Pakistan by the world. Kapil Dev, an ex-Indian cricketer comments that people who can forge their country are not trustworthy at all. The British press releases news clipping about Pakistani cricketers saying “They are the poor relations of the (cricket) world when it comes to getting paid and so the temptation is there to supplement earnings. The fact the Pakistan players have been prevented from taking part in the lucrative IPL because of the poor relations between Pakistan and India doesn't assist in that matter."

Once let open, the international media doesn’t get satisfied by only criticizing the Pakistani World cup champs. In fact they want to whither their existence in the sports arena. Former ICC chief Malcolm Speed has claimed to ban Pakistani team’s existence in the cricket scenario. Former England captain Michael Vaughan said that he doesn’t see Pakistani team getting out of this one!...the list of such press releases and shameful comments can go on.

But the main point to reiterate here is that the branches carry fruits only if the root can bear the weight. Yes, the world doesn’t dare to mess with those who are strengthened from within. These scandals aren’t new, from Australia to India; almost every country’s team has been accused and alleged of such crimes. But none have been humiliated and planned to ‘banned’ from the cricket’s world. This is because their cricket boards took a stance to solve their matter within the system, their media supported their innocence and their politicians didn’t loathe their ‘anti-patriotic spirits’. I think once our country learns to take stand for its own people, no one in the world can harm us with their desperate attempts to disparage us as a nation!

Dream On...

Every person sometimes reaches a situation where there are no words to write & none to speak, the expressions and thoughts are too jumbled to display. Though it’s frustrating or nerve-reckoning but yes that’s the moment which makes us see the true us. Confused, withered, tired or boggled ‘us’ see ourselves clearly in this confusion. The blurred vision makes us see the dreams within us.

The dreams buried deep inside where nobody could reach them. Dreams; from small little desires to hardcore wishes which now seem like inert, unreachable and unachievable.

The fear of facing those unachieved desires hides them deep inside in a corner of the brain where no one…literally no one can reach them. But it’s you, who can open and face them. It never too late to rethink and live th

e moments you have always wanted to. Fame, fortune, money blah blah..maybe are unachievable for some. But it shouldn’t stop us from dreaming, since dreaming is not always about expressing yourself to the world rather sometimes it’s about expressing yourself to ‘yourself’.

So, dream and dream…dream about life and its small things which can make your day which eventually makes a small but treasured moment of your life. Take a moment of freedom from the books, machines, notebooks or laptops whatever you’re stuck in and:

Go and breathe the fresh air, the flowy breeze and the rusty leaves

Feel the rain drops on your palms as the sun dawns

Do the dance moves that are embarrassing

Take a second to splash in dirt....i know it's difficult but sometimes won't hurt

Make bubbles in your shake & don't care what sound it makes

Sing loudly, Louder and Louder...until you can't breathe

Your tonsils might burst & so will someone's ear...but you'll feel at ease

Don't you worry about the world...just the way it never does for you

Just Dream on...as it's time to introduce yourself to YOU!

Music: 'admiration or veneration'

Music gives us life and melody brings soul to it. Melody is everywhere, in the drizzling drops or the rustling autumn leaves, in the honking cars and in the heartbeat of each and every human. Music is the only medicine which takes humans into a trance like state. A state in which all one can see is the pictorial illustration of the lyrics and all one can feel is the rhythm with the thumping beat.

No wonder, music has become an essential to loosen ourselves from the daunting and hectic lives of today… and this ‘urge for music’ has given rise and power to the singers of today. Internationally ruling the charts and hearts of people, these top celebrities in fact have the strength to make or break a notion!

Songs, give birth to notions and every celebrity rises with a humongous fan following of his own ‘style’. The fandom these days reaches the pinnacle where people literally worship the star. These celebrities inspire and instigate the youth with their lavish lifestyles, provoking thoughts and exciting messages. Their thoughts, messages either open or subliminal are accepted since the youth is too naïve to object. Further elaborating naïve, these ‘devotees’ actually start living in the trance which the music and celebrity creates. Neither understanding the meaning nor the true significance, they just follow, proving the extremity of their ‘fanship’.

Now, focusing on the youth of Pakistan, where do we lie in this queue of this blind veneration?

We lie at the top!.. Totally intimidated by the celebrity power our youth has actually lost the power to understand before adoring. With complete adulation, our youngsters vouch to completely follow the footsteps of the foreigners. Each and everyone of us has a crush on one of those hot stars and we tap to their music. Rock, pop, R&B, soul, country, jazz etc. you just name it and even children will name the top most stars of these genres. But do we understand that how strong the impact of this unsighted devotion has been on our minds? Do we get the meaning of the song before putting it up as a status of facebook? Do we actually reckon the disrespect when we try to be as minimally dressed as Rihanna was in her video?

No! we don’t and infact we don’t pay a damn to such useless thoughts. Life is here and life is today! This is what we believe, but is this what our norms, values and religion has taught us? Our religion has treated this world only as an exam to pass for the world hereafter. Imagine an exam where we all know the answers taught us by the Almighty Allah, but still only a few etch the write steps to clear it. This is what we all do, we all know the answers but we seldom ponder because we have been brainwashed by the messages taught and conveyed to us by these celebrities.

Let’s, take a look at our lives now. Every girl wants to be ‘Material Girl’ and every boy wanders saying ‘It’s my life’. Awe struck by the ‘Good girl gone bad’ trauma we all want to be bad. We put black nail polishes and cat woman outfits to just copy the bad attitude and style. Every teenager sings ‘toxic’ and ‘piece of me’, without realizing that this is not what we were meant to be as Muslims and as Pakistanis. Listening to songs like ‘seduction’, ‘pump it’, shut up and drive’..we have transformed from the great humans to useless commodities which might appeal but seldom inspire.

We all want to be rockers, studs, hunks, hotties but do we ever desire to be the best person? Have we ever thought about those who gave birth to us?..No! When we don’t even think about the Almighty who created the world then why would we care about our parents? We say life is too short to be unhappy, so let’s have fun. But do we realize that life is also too short to make the Lord happy, so let’s start from today. Our minds have been jumbled and our focus has been busted. Our attention is only diverted to the present and we have forgotten about the judgment day. Thinking all day long about money, fame and fortune we rarely think about the values, norms and morals. With boys doing their maximum to cheat, disobey and be wild, do they actually become the shoulder of their old parents? And girls fishing for the attraction from the opposite sex… do we in fact gain respect and reverence anymore from the society? Our nation built and rendered as the representative of Islam..Will it survive the map with this level of indecency?

This article could go on for pages and pages, but bringing it to an end, the only thing I’d like to point out is that it’s high time to start thinking before we lose it all as a nation!

Sheer Hatred...Inspires!

Scorpions are defined as people who see the world in black and whites. Either they love or they hate, ‘Sheer’ is the word which defines or may be completes their emotions. Hatred or veneration, the two expressions encompassing the lifelong feelings these people possess. They sting, they bite or they protect, own and possess. It’s hard to hate someone even if he suffocates you to death. But it’s harder to adore rather hardness reaches impossibility.

Trust me…coz’ I’m a scorpion with a sting, myself! Absorbed in my self-proclaimed conceit I barely take out time to even like anyone. The probability of this improbable likeness can reach negativity..in numeric terms of course. It doesn’t mean that I hate everyone I meet rather it implies that it’s as difficult to get out of my ‘sheer hatred’ list as difficult it is to get in.

Imagine; when you hate someone so much that you can’t even take their name or you love someone so much that their name sticks to your tongue like a blister. But the issue is that you think and think, constantly and continuously about both. One thought about the extremity of admiration and the other about vengeance. These staunch thoughts scuttle your sense to differentiate between greys and whites.

With this philosophy of hate and love, a person becomes too stringent to ponder any further. Visualize, you have a list or division where everyone lies in a particular column. With everything defined and explained, with no intention of revisiting the credentials...you live in a world too rigid & beyond control.

Though appearing emotionless or rigorous, a person with such a strong head also thinks. Sometimes unwillingly a person like me also becomes awed with someone’s sensibility. Someone’s sensibility to observe, remark, scrutinize and think might also appeal as unmistakable and rational to me. Though lying in the hatred matrix of my listing, I might sense the sensitivity of the person behind the disgust I possess. The ability to look beneath the camouflages one hides under is certainly an ability which I think I’m blessed with. I might not like someone but I surely can appreciate the compassion and ability behind that person.

It might appear vague or irrational, that how a person who either loves or hates…also appreciates. But yes it happens; I appreciate the thoughts, the intellect and the passion of anyone. My sheer hatred or sheer admiration doesn’t get in my way when it comes to the sensibility. Because mostly the people I hate have the capability to challenge my thoughts. Call it self-obsession, arrogance or simply self love but people who can challenge my thoughts and divert my sensibility certainly inspire me. Inspire me to re-think and revisit the philosophies about life. They might be not likable or rather revulsion is the feeling that incurs for them. But inspiration which instigates respect is unavoidable for them. I might appear stern and harsh to everyone I hate, but the respect and reverence I possess for one’s intellect never gets over-powered by my personal vengeance.

Sometimes…Sheer Hatred…Inspires! J

Precious!

A Saturday afternoon, sometimes leaves one with a lot to ponder and deliberate about. Deliberate about those thoughts which were buried in the sub conscious or the relations which were always taken for granted. Deliberate about the shackles which were never felt or the imprisonment that was imposed without a prison!
This Saturday gave me a lot to muse as well, as I made a cup of coffee to sip during my utter boredom. I smiled, laughed, cried and even talked to myself without realizing about the hours that passed by. The moments spent with myself, gave me a lot to criticize and praise about my own existence. My life, just an ordinary piece of story suddenly seemed astounding to me. Amazed by my own emotions and passions, I comprehended my life as a tale not too meaningless!
What is it that gives meaning to it? Is it the motion which keeps me going or the passion to keep discovering?
These questions occasionally get answered when you dig the subconscious concealed by the apparently rational conscious. When you forget to sip the coffee you made out of ultimate boredom or forget what to write with your hands on the keyboard, it’s the time when the subconscious takes over. Though people criticize Freud, but my staunch support for the subconscious will never be withered.
Moving on with my self-discovery moments, yes I discovered a lot. A lot of queries, thoughts came up but when I closed my eyes nothing else but a figure came to my mind. The imprint was so strong that I could draw it even with my closed eyes. Who was it who gave meaning to my life and kept my soul alive? Was it an angel or an average person?
As the imprint grew stronger, I started to recognize the facial features. The features of an angel camouflaged in a human body. It was she, the one who has always wrapped me in her angelic feathers to save me from the abrasions of the world. It was she whose security cushion could get me through the toughest the world has to offer. It was, is and will always be my Mother!
My Ami! The one who kept my soul saved from scattering in the space, who made my life a worthwhile experience and gave meaning to it. I had never thought that it was the sheer existence of Ami which could explain the spirit of life underneath my actions. Each and every moment spent with her is a precious pearl safely treasured by the river of subconscious. The thought of her mere presence can give me the sense of pleasure I can never feel for anything else. When she isn’t around the idea of her charisma can brighten up my day.
I want to achieve a lot of money, career, passion…but all of this is significant only with her magnetic soul. I indeed! Treasure every moment spent with her or spent with the idea of being with her as my life can have an impact only with her existence.

Thus, I treasure all my thoughts connected to my Ami as she is the source of life for my innately dissatisfied soul!

Broken!

Have you ever had a friend with whom you can share everything...your cries, convictions, opinions, grief or simply opened your heart out to this friend? Well, if the answer is yes, you’re lucky and if not then you’re wise!
Some might call it harsh luck and others might say it’s a flaw, but I have never had ‘close friends’. Further elaborating ‘close’; it implies friends close enough to share genuine thoughts with without a fear of distrust or betrayal, intimate enough to read your eyes without provoking tears and cherished enough to be missed at every single moment spent without them.
The thought of having a friend with the adjectives aforementioned appears quite vague and unrealistic to me, may be because I have never had an encounter with a friend forever. The idea appears amazing to find someone and make a bond which is beyond your age group, gender, class or ethnicity and give it a minimal name ‘best friend’, but it’s also as improbable for me as astonishing it may appears to others. Friendship has a different measurement scale for everyone, some might term acquaintance as friends or some might take years to consider someone a friend. I may hangout with many and term them as pals, but when it comes to my core persona…no one knows about it. I never share my secrets or my true feelings with anyone, call me an introvert or a psychic but I just can’t trust or divulge!
I admit that occasionally while sipping my coffee alone or trying to gulp the bland noodles, I do reckon that I have no friends to share my tasteless noodles with. The reason could be my ego, rudeness or something unknown. Oh! Firstly clarifying this doesn’t mean that I have never had friends at all, I have had many and I still have many too but either my friendships break a little too early or they are just fake Hi’s Hello’s as I perceive it. Coming back to the original topic, yes! Neither do I believe in the friends forever jingles nor do I sing them.
A month to a year, that’s the maximum time I maintain my friendships with someone. After that, something out of my control happens which I may term as heavenly and we break it up. This sad ending is never a fight or a quarrel rather it’s an ending of an era with a reversal of time. Reversal of time can be explained as the process in which friends become strangers!
Once the friendship has ended, we might walk by each other but never walk together, we might stand next to each other but never stand by and we might sit next to each other but never rest upon. But the query which bothers me is did we actually stand by each other before this ended? Were those secrets which were blurted out after the friendship, ever secure? Were those thoughts made fun of later, ever truly appreciated? And were they actually ill the day when I confronted my weaknesses in front of everyone? These questions might appear vague or improbable but I still suggest why take a risk? Why risk your emotions and convictions to an unknown when you know that the pressure of regret will be intolerable? Why open your heart to someone who can’t save it from the maggots waiting to invade it?
You might be a lucky one to find the pearl in the sea but what if you’re just another average one? Will you risk your emotions when the cost of losing trust and confidence clearly over weighs the benefits of a best friend?
If the answer is still yes, then in your dictionary wisdom is surely over ruled by that tiny bloody piece of flesh called heart!