Clashes!

‘An appallingly unfriendly, cold, superficial and egoistic individual’ is the way most of the ‘men’ define me. They think I have a hell lot of attitude and I treat them like ….!
This horrible explanation of course shocks me and provokes me to rectify this crime, which I commit in my every interaction somehow!
So I decided to sincerely appraise the situation!
Skimming through the horrifying memories of the past I realized that almost 99.99999 percent of the times, I had CLASHES! Yes collisions with all the men I ever encountered. But the main issue is why? Why didn’t I end up being their friend just like everyone else?
The first issue could be that I’m a huge fan of a Feminist’s approach. May be I, implying a lot of modernist’s theories on men and when not getting the satisfactory response end up fighting. But when I intensely analyzed the situation, I found that it was not a true justification. Since I never implied my theories to my professional meetings. Though it doesn’t lower the theories’ merit or their status rather I never mix my professionalism with sentimentalism.
The second point could be that I was innately rude with an inborn attitude issue. Though the latter could be true but innate impertinence should have hurdled my friendships with anyone, isn’t it? And if that’s the case then it would be a ‘hasty generalization’ since I have a wholesome number of ‘female friends’ who find me superbly affable. Thus, this assumption could be easily negated.
Then as a student who has taken ‘human behavior’, my utmost duty is to examine this phenomenon a little more deeply. And after reviewing many hypothesis lets examine the premises through ‘social psychology’s perspective’.
Before getting to the premises I must define myself as a person first. As a girl I have always been accused of being tomboyish because of my unethical attitude with the color pink. My self-confidence has been misconstrued as over confidence because I never compromise on my rules and limits. And additionally others have acclaimed me as an egoistic woman because I believe in not accepting the mistakes I never committed!
After considering all the above attributes ‘social psychology’ explains my conflicts with the opposite sex as “Ego Clashes”. I.e. these clashes are not the fruits of my ultimate ‘insolence’ rather my self-love mistaken as narcissism hurts them internally.
Their ego is flattened by my indifferent attitude, which compels them to create artificial conflicts with me. These conflicts may be gets them the amount of attention that they think they deserve. But when they still remain futile in making me accept their dominance, they start over with being over nice.
The over nice attitude is always a sight to enjoy! Trying to get their self-esteem satisfied they in fact end up losing it a little more. Then comes in the extra-rude attitude, which is the most entertaining part. In this last shot they try to use their ‘ definitive power’ to screw anything which could benefit me. They might be successful sometimes in using their deviated political arms to hurt me and could end up in making me suffer to an extent.
But they can never break my Ego because it’s stronger than theirs. I’m ready to suffer whatever comes in my way in order to maintain my Self-respect and Yes! These collisions strengthen me a little more!

Is it the real YOU?

During my exams last semester, one day while cramming my notes I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a blunt, outspoken, straightforward girl with a damn care attitude, but with this look came a thought, a thought which clutched my mind and I just couldn’t get out of the strong grip! The thought was not so outrageous rather it was just a simple query i.e.

“Is this the real me?”

Yes! It wasn’t the real me. I’m not a person with a damn care attitude towards life, I care about small things; things like what would I do in the quiz if I don’t study? Or what shall I buy for my mother from the small sum of money I saved from my pocket money. I was a nerd; a nerd who studied hard day and night to get good grades and pretended to be cool. A cool girl who didn’t study at all and still somehow got good marks!
But who was I hiding from, why did I never tell anyone that how much I studied or why I wanted to mask my concentration in studies from others? What is a COOL personality? Who defined those terms?
Lets take a look into it from the perspective of a normal teenager who doesn’t know what’s in and what’s out!
We go into the university with high spirits, aspiring dreams, passion and zest to be something big someday. The ambience that seems so conciliatory the first day gradually throws back our deficiencies upon us. We are never appreciated for what we are rather always pointed out the way we should be.
The various definitions get their ways into our heads like whose Cool, Hot, Geek, Funky or a Rock star. A few things necessary to get into “The Elites” are not the money rather there is a whole recipe to be a part of the mighty agenda! The recipe includes a variety of compulsory ingredients like designer clothes (If you don’t have them at least pretend), English with an accent, a few top class gossiping qualities, highly artificial attitude and oh yes! You should be humble and sympathetic to those who are not the “Elites”.
To get into the circle of the Elites, all the girls and guys tighten their belts after few weeks of the university to gather the ingredients. They get on the nerves of their parents whose old mind thoughts become mind-boggling now. Girls go on a diet to get in their perfect skirt and the guys pretend to smoke even if they don’t know how to!

But has someone ever thought why do we have to fit in the already settled parameters for being the “Hottest”, in fact what is the Hottest or the Coolest? What is it for?
No, it’s not for success. Neither does it fulfill the aspirations that were bubbling in the students when they joined in nor does it actually make them different from what they are in real. It’s just a mask we use, which in terms of psychology will be defined as “Relational violence”. In literary terms it’s violence done by females to suppress the aggression within them but I believe it’s rather a term for both genders who participate evenly in this ruthless brutality of dividing people into classes.

What could be worse then changing yourself for the sake of something which doesn’t even exist?

Are we so superficial that vague gushes of artificiality carry away our persona? We; the greatest creation of God can change it’s thoughts, beliefs and forget his/her own identity for the sake of being a center of attention?
We see girls dying of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia, young teens dying drunk due to speedy road accidents, smoking as a sacred ritual for the sake of attention and an addiction to lose weight, parents’ presence seen as a source of embarrassment in the “IN” circle and young teens sneaking out to make gf/bfs to check if they are in demand or not. The values with which we lived for years suddenly become lame in front of the individualistic approaches? Is appreciating those, who gave you birth, strength and support, not worthwhile enough to waste time on? Why do we change our paths from the library to the café for being eminent? Why do we make fun of those who wear glasses or are not close to a perfect figure? Why a big car and late night partying is becoming an obsession rather than recreation?

All we need to do is think! Think with the brain that the Almighty Allah gave us, ponder upon what we actually are and realize that we are not what the world defines us as, we are what our mind shapes us as. The world is making its progress to a dangerous end where people pursue the legendary trail without even questioning it for a moment. But I think it’s high time that instead of making movies like mean girls, teeny toons, never been kissed etc.. We focus on throwing away those fake, lame beliefs, which forge young people and overshadow their true brilliance.

Its time!

My Angels!

When I was young and vulnerable, my hands were small and fingers like ladyfingers. I was afraid of sleeping alone at night and my heart pounded when I saw a horror film. I couldn’t take a step outside my home since I was to naïve to cross the road.
The world was colossal for me to handle, but yet my world was a little wonder like a fairytale. A wonder where there were four fairies, yes! They existed and they exist even now to protect me from the ruthless world.
The first one to hold my hand was the Fairy Godmother, who held my hand, clenched my fingers when the world was not even visible. She watched me over when I was alone, loved me like a princess sitting on her throne. She fulfilled my wishes and I called her my Grandmother. In her hands there was love and affection, all she needed to do was touch me with her hands and make me secure.
We went outside to discover and if I fell she helped me recover. I still remember the ducks we used to feed with my Jam toast and the parks we used to stopover. She took me for a walk though I was ten times slower than her. She fought my tiny battles and never let me down. My desires were fulfilled without even a bit of hesitation and my tears were as precious as pearls due to her presence.

She was there, there and there and everywhere! To make my life a small heaven with

laughter and glee ubiquitously!

Then I started growing up, like a star of her eyes. I was like a princess, a doll treated with the greatest affection by them all. I never thought she’d leave me alone, never imagined the loss when she was gone. I was too little to realize that she was no more, rather just thought she was asleep. My mom, sisters and aunts cried and I just wandered without recognizing the precious gift of nature I had lost. She was ill I knew it well, but I was unfamiliar to the meaning of death. Now I think, how painful she must’ve felt, leaving those who she brought up behind, going to a world which for us is still undefined.

The second fairy is my other Fairy Godmother who took the pain even beyond imagination to give birth to a naïve little twerp like me!
She comforted me in her shelter, with her soft arms wrapped around my body to give me the blanket of coziness irreplaceable by any blanket in the world. She was, is and will always be the best Mom present in the world. She didn’t sleep for hours if I had a little fever. With her sleepless eyes she greeted me with the same fresh smile once again. Her eyes are enough to make my life bright and her one kiss can make my day.
She worked hours to please my massive appetite and record my favorite cartoons. She spent days to sew the best frock I could wear and brag about among other children. I can recall the weeks I took off from school with an excuse of “not feeling like going to school”, requesting her to let me not give the exams and taking money from her while she was on the phone. She never turned and scolded me for all the blunders I made, never stood on head checking my homework, she trusts me for whatever I did and still do and I love her for her existence!
Her mere presence can bring luck to my life, her eyes shine and they make me smile. Without her prayer, I believe I’m nothing but a piece of flesh without life. Drinking tea, talking life and discussing issues with her seems to fill my life, which is an empty bag of rubbish without her. She is there and this feeling is enough to make me face anything that comes my way,

Mama, I just don’t have words to express my gratitude to you for being my mom!

The next two fairies are my two junior fairy Godmothers! One is like a roof, which saves me from all the cruelties that life has to throw at me and the other one is like the four walls, which surround me and keep me alive!
I call them my sisters, both make me laugh, one takes me to places to discover the world and the other one makes me feel like a kid whose every little desire should and will be fulfilled.
I remember those times when I took their lunches away just because I was younger they didn’t say a word. We played and wrestled; they lost the race to make me feel proud of my stamina.

They took me outside to buy me ice creams and do my school homework. At the end of summer vacation the whole family used to sit and fill my homework copies. My art handworks were hand made by them lolzz! Life was amazing.
One used to clean the house and dance with me while the other taught me how to drive and dance in the rain outside. I spent days thinking that they were ghosts because they ran faster than me. And while playing hide n’ seek they will hide in the easiest place possible or sometimes right in front of me.
Now when we have passed the days of our childhood, I still feel as secure with their presence like pillars around me. They stand by me like two angels to protect and help me in my every matter. In times of sorrow I get confused to cry on which shoulder because by Allah’s grace I have many options to choose from!

These fairies have made my life like a small heaven on earth rather; my life is due to their presence. I don’t need pretty friends, best friends or even boyfriends because I have these four pretty ladies around me. Although my Grandma is gone but I know she is still around me, ready to guide me through thick and thin, I feel her presence whenever I am exalted and I sense her tears whenever I cry. My mother is there to help, guide, support and bless me with her heartfelt feelings, She makes me feel alive and a moment spent without her is a moment without life and soul. My sisters are here around me; I feel their arms around my shoulders and hands held tight whenever I need someone. They make me smile in the weirdest situations and teach me what life has taught them.
Thus, they all are the comfort zones, which protect me from the rashes of life, and keep my soul as soft as they can. They are the sheaths, which take all the pain to make my life painless.

Yes they are my Angels!!!

The color Pink!

"The feminine woman is forever static and childlike. She is like the ballerina in an old music box, her unchanging features tiny and girlish, her voice tinkly, her body stuck on a pin rotating in a spiral that will never grow" By Susan Faludi

For the past 18 years, I have been taught as a girl to be shy, honest, loving, caring and at the top silent. Loving as a human but silent as a commodity, a commodity which serves and serves and nothing is there which in return it deserves.
The atmosphere, the environment, the movies, and the relatives all guided me to be a subordinate because I’m a girl. A girl who studies to serve, marries to serve and who if earns is also to serve, her life should be spent to make others happy no matter what she gets as an outcome.
And the most weird thing is that I followed these norms, the norms of the so called experienced, the norms made from but against religion. The norms which sometimes make our women feel not human. I followed them blindly like every girl does in our society. I played with dolls, made houses, dreamed about pink dresses and tried to be a master chef. I didn’t care if this was what I wanted to do, didn’t bother if my instincts, my passions were suppressed somewhere dying to perspire.
Then I passed school, went to college but life didn’t change. Same old girls obsessed with the way they look externally. I began life there with an effort to pursue admiration for beauty, clothes, jewelry and desire to look the way they did. I forced to live a life where no body will call me a manly woman.
But as the time passed by I realized that I’m not one of them. Not the one who loves jewelry, who wears pretty bright clothes and certainly not the one who looks at the eyelashes and complexion rather than the real soul and expression. And yes! That was the time I discovered myself. I didn’t love the color pink, I didn’t wish to live a fairytale and find my prince charming who will climb up my braided hair. I wanted a life filled with adventures; I wished to explore my inner self. I’m not an object to be dressed and utilized rather I’m a full-fledged member of the human community. That was the time I started following my dreams.
Since then I have been challenging myself at every point of life and testing my stamina to the maximum. When people see me deviating from the stereotypical “girlish” standards they call me manly, when I cut my hair they call me insane, my efforts of independence are seen as obsolete by them. Thus they try hard to break my confidence and make me feeble. But I can see the hidden fear in them, fear that one day I will discover those strengths that every woman is supposed to repress, fear that my denial will encourage others to breakthrough these shackles of rules webbed around us. But don’t mistake this as my desire to break my religion rather it’s an effort to rule out those norms made in the name of religion.
I’m neither a feminist nor a member of male hatred community instead I like to have my share of space in the world, the space that every woman deserves just like any man. Briefly, I do whatever I feel like doing instead of whatever others want me to do. And if after going through this article you find me tomboyish or a manly woman then surely you’re influenced deeply by those stereotypes created by our ancestors to degrade anyone who dares to survive in this wretched world.

Foundation of relationships: Trust or Distrust?

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” Walter Anderson
Life revolves around either those you love or those you don’t. The foundation of love is trust and the foundation of hatred is distrust.
Human beings are born bonded, trapped and webbed in relationships. These bonds are strong and inflexible. Once these relations are clearly defined, begins the true tale of struggle. Struggle to satisfy your loved ones, to come up to their expectations, the effort to never lose the faith they have in you. Your whole life begins to twist and twine around them. Each and every second spent is a moment with fear of being left alone by those whom you love and the fear of uncertainty. This fear of betrayal makes the insatiable human to search for more. And then you wander and look for friends. Friends who without any conditions, any expectations share your sorrows and cherish your company. But the key to friendship is unfortunately also trust. You trust your friends, believe their each and every word and spend the best moments of your life with them. But the fear of being betrayed remains, the fear of being alone in the dark, of being left out and the key to this fear is distrust.
Again human nature takes a step further to eradicate this fear and there begins the search of that someone special. You leave those who love you in the search of love. Search of someone who will give you respect, will support you throughout your life and trust you for whatever you do. But the tarnished human nature strikes again in the form of infidelity for someone more lovable than the one we have. This time opposite sex attracts for an unknown reason and you blindly follow. The trust is broken and this time we name our uncontrollable desires as true love.
Thus we spend our whole life searching for someone to hold our scattered life together. We define different terms to make new relations and also to break the old ones. But in this struggle to find someone dependable what we are left with are only some broken hearts, horrifying memories and abraded souls. The search of fidelity when combined with human’s treacherous mind just leaves marks of distrust which accompany us till we perish.

Symbolic value of ancient symbols in 21st century

Some symbols have been inculcated in people nowadays in a way that we assume these as well established facts.
One of these symbols is the symbol of kingship; the main characteristics of throne, large proportion, rigid position and higher ground remained almost similar which are assumed about kings till date. In Sumerian art the image of the king was portrayed as the one seated on a throne larger in proportion to other human figures. E.g. the standard of ur (2600 B.C.) depicts the king as a tall figure whose head even crosses the upper bound even if seated. Egyptians even used special canons to depict heroic rigid figures of the kings. The seated sculpture of khafre (2600 B.C.) shows a king with a headdress, throne, rigid posture and a heroic body while the sheikh el-balad’s sculpture (2500 B.C.) is depicted without the canons because he was an ordinary man. The concept of sovereign kings can be seen in the victory stele of Naram-sin (2300-2200 B.C.) who larger than others stands in a heroic victorious posture above others. The awe and reverence has always been created either by large scale/proportion or the throne. The four seated ramses figures in the temple of ramses II (1257 B.C.) on a throne with a headdress and the huge scale show that the king has always been a reverent not an ordinary civilian, his feet placed above the ground to highlight his status. Similarly in persepolis (518-460 B.C.) in apadana the seated figure on a ground higher than standing figures shows the rigid posture and courtiers are some characteristics which we assume about a king or higher official today. The modern day’s president is a person whose special than the civilians, the concept of god as kings might have changed but the sovereignty after god still lies with him/her even in a democratic state. Like the kings, president gives a speech on a center space stage higher than others. The rigid posture of prince Charles, the throne and embellished headdress of queen Elizabeth II are a modified version of the ancient symbols. The high status is depicted with large president houses which replaced the ancient palaces . The reason why a president is not expected to socialize among other civilians is because of the inculcated eternal supremacy granted to kings since ancient times.

The other ancient symbol is the concept of sacred water present in religions today worldwide. Water was considered as a god in Sumerian period (2600 B.C.). The Egyptians believed in the sacred lotus flower which bloomed from the sacred water. This flower was considered the origin of the re the sun god which created the world e.g. the osiris sits on the eternal waters in the final hall of judgment depicted by egyptians (1290 B.C.). The great bath of Indus valley also shows the religious affiliation of people with the sacred water probably used for ritual bathing . The concept of sacred water is prominent in Hinduism which considers water as the source of lotus flower like egyptians. Hindu texts describe that water represents the procreative aspect of the absolute, water represents piety, purity and Vishnu in bhagwand gita is portrayed as sitting on eternal waters (Goel ). The ganges river in India supposedly carries the blessings of Vishnu and hindus take a dip in it to cleanse their ills and souls much similar to the bath at Indus valley. In Islam the holy water zamzam well is revered because of its historical significance. Zamzam well is the site from where Hazrat Ismail (R.A) son of Hazrat Ibrahim (R.A) drank water when he was left with his mother Hazrat Hagar (R.A) in a desert. In Judaism the sacred water and bathing ritual is highlighted by construction of mikveh which is collection of spring clear running water. It is meant for cleansing from leprosy, semen, childbirth and menstruation. In catholic churches the sacred water is used for blessing and rushing away evil spirits. The holy river at Jordan is believed to be the place where Jesus was baptized and bathing there preaches forgiveness from sins (Altman). Thus all religions have highlighted water as a sacred element for purification of soul since ancient societies of Egypt or Indus valley though backgrounds have been changed in every religion.


Work Cited

Altman, Nathaniel. Sacred water. Washington: Hidden spring, 2002.

Goel, Anil. “God’s favourite flower.” Jul. 1999. Lotus Sculpture. 25 Jul. 2009.

Metallurgical techniques of Indus Valley Civilization

Excavations uncovered the remains of highly urbanized and modern towns at Harappa, Kot dijji, Mohenjo-Daro etc integrated as Indus Valley civilization (2800-2600 B.C.). This era is generally praised for its seals, jewellery and town planning; also shows great progress in metallurgical techniques of bronze, lead, arsenic bronze and Copper. Although main emphasis was on trade, but the artisans adopted several exquisite techniques to manipulate different alloys for usage in sculptures, ornaments, tools and also created motifs which are still being used in customized versions in various South-Asian regions.
Indus valley metallurgists used metals such as copper, lead, gold, bronze and silver. Several crucibles of copper slag are discovered which marks the beginning of metallurgy. Most of the beads found are coated with copper glaze which must have been melted in a 1000 degree temperature kiln (Mcintosh) and perforated with thin copper wires. The beads are used in various areas for stylization purposes till date in sub-continent. Gold and silver were employed as ornaments in this era. Globular and jasper beads of gold found are still being used in Gujarat by women for hairstyling. Gold necklaces even less than 0.25 mm in diameter are some of the technological advancements in gold (Lothal) Fig1. The gold pendants found with inlaid gems are still quite common in sub-continent generally referred as “Tika” Fig2. Silver was separated from lead and hammered into sheets. The art of hammering gold and silver in thin sheets is visible even till date in the sub continent where people use Silver and Gold foils to garnish their sweets Fig3. The evidence also shows that lead alloy with copper and bronze was utilized in Indus valley (2500 B.C.). Credit for development of various alloys in the south-asian countries also goes to Indus Valley civilization. They vigilantly made alloys such as Tin, Arsenic bronze and bronze by smelting copper with other metals (Claus). Bronze was extensively used in making sculptures. Bronze was also used by mughals for making pots and copper for basins and are quite common till date Fig4.
They introduced metallic sculpture casting techniques for the first time in South-Asia. One of these is the french “Cire-Perdue’ meaning ‘Lost-wax’. This technique uses Bronze alloy to cover the clay mold (Bronze). The symbolic bronze sculptures of this era seem to be an inspiration for different cultures where they are worshipped and have been modified into complete religious characters.
One of the finest examples of Bronze Sculptures found from layers of Indus valley is the “Dancing girl”Fig5. The dancing girl is a masterpiece in terms of fluidity in curves and lines. The girl symbolizes a woman in a dancing posture made from Bronze, solid and compact. Bronze sculptures were later used extensively in various periods for religious purposes. Most of them seem to be an inspiration from the Dancing girl in terms of technique and the Yogic postured deities found on Indus seals in terms of depiction. Thus an amalgamation of religion and metallurgy can be seen in them. People suggest that later in 9th and 10th century Chola bronze period, Dancing girl was used as an inspiration in the form of Cosmic dance of Siva (Mankind) Fig6. Similarly, Yogic figures of Mahavira from 6th to 12th century are made by using Lost-wax technique and the posture is quite similar to yogic-deities of Indus Valley Fig7. Various forms of lord Shiva and Vishnu bronze sculptures are also found at Thanjavir from Tamil Nadu from 8th to 16th centuries Fig8. All these figures use Lost-wax as per the technique is concerned. Motif of dancing girl and Yogic deities seems to be source of inspirations for these religious characters.
Thus, Metallurgy developed as a skill in Indus valley civilization. Various forms of Gold and Silver Ornaments found are quite similar to what are used even now. Copper, Lead and Bronze were a sign of an extremely sophisticated metallic system for making tools, sculptures and pots. These sculptures were may be modified and utilized by different regions of the sub-continent for religious purposes. But the highlight of the region’s metallurgy is that the techniques introduced by Indus Valley metallurgists e.g. copper glazes or the Lost wax method were used in the sub-continent even after 1000’s of years. Thus Indus valley paved the way for Future metallurgists and artisans for creating masterpieces.

Work Cited
“Bronze Sculpture.” Indianetzone Sculptures. 18 Jul. 2009.


Claus, Sarah Mills and Margaret Mills. South Asian Folklore. Taylor and Francis, 2003.

“Lothal”. Wikipedia. 17 Jul. 2009.


“Mankind’s metallurgical Heritage”. 18 Jul. 2009.


Mcintosh, Jane. The Ancient Indus Valley. ABC-CLIO, 2007.

Fig 1: Jewellery (Left) Fig 2: silver sheet

Fig 3: Dancing Girl (Left) Fig 4: Mughal bronze pot (Right)

Fig 5: Cosmic Dance of Shiva